VALHALLA RISING

Girl’s general confusion...

This was another movie that I just couldn’t stand watching from start to finish. I believe my overall impression would best be described as a giant “?”.

There was a lot of flashes to a red-coloured land located in Mads’ character’s brain - a version of himself, I think. There was a this kid that spoke for Mads as we guess he could not communicate - possibly due to having no tongue or maybe because he just did not want to...? Mads murdered A LOT of people, and one guy was raped by some other guy when they both were fucked up on some drink, and then there was this whole religious crusade thing... Then the ending! What the fuck happened there? In Denmark, the critics were divided in two concerning this film. One said that it was stupidly self-important and the other called it a masterpiece.

The visuals were stunning. That can be said for the movie.

Girl’s Rating: Hmmm... Maybe watch it? Just for love of Mads?

Guy’s what?

I’m a big fan of Mads and that was probably the only thing that made me wanna watch this movie. I loved him in “After the Wedding” and that film will probably be on my top 100 for a long time.

This movie how ever was fucked up. Mads is viking named one-eye that can take down any man in one on one combat. He’ll bite your neck, remove your guts and pop your eyes out. Yes, this movie is very, very violent. That is pretty much it too. I couldn’t follow the “storyline” at all. There where chapters, weird scenes where vikings raped each other and a dude painted red.

As a movie this pretty much sucked. I’m sorry to say that because it was beautifully shoot in some remarkable locations. The vikings looked authentic and the CG blood was some of the best I’ve seen.

Guy’s Rating: I don’t think you need to bother. I just wished that someone, anyone could make a good viking movie.