Guy's review...Colin Diamond (Winston) finds out that his wife is having a affair with a younger man. He beats her up to get his name and then he gets his gangster buddies to kidnap the poor guy. His gangster buddies are played by the elite of British cinema. We have John Hurt, Tom Wilkingson, Ian McShane and Stephen Dillane, which all sounds good on paper but hang on. When they promoted this movie they used the fact that the writers of "Sexy Beast" (Louis Mellis & David Scinto) wrote the script. I love "Sexy Beast" so I was onboard (I actually like "Blueberry" as well, which Mellis wrote).
So the guy that boned Diamonds wife is now kidnapped and stuck in a cabinet in an abandoned warehouse. The rest of the movie is then about the dilemma between killing the "loverboy" as the gangster refer to him or letting him go. Most of the movie takes place in this abandoned warehouse, while the rest are flashbacks to the past of the gangsters and the evening where Diamond beat up his wife. This is where it gets fuzzy. Some of the times the gangsters are illusions or dreams and sometimes they're actually in the room. It's not that hard to follow but there is also no reason for it.
So what's great about the movie. I would say the dialogue, nobody has mastered the word "cunt" better than Mellis & Scinto. There's nothing to complain about when it comes to the acting as well - as I said before the cast is pretty much British acting royalty. Ray Winston is also one of my favorite actors of today so that helped.
Guy's Rating: Not a gangster movie at all. More of a head-scratcher worth watching.
Girl's thoughts...
Reading Guy's review, I found out this was written by the same guy as "Sexy Beast"... so, where is the humour? Where is the wit? It either went over my head or it just wasn't there. As a fan of british comedy, I'm going to be optimistic about myself and say it just wasn't there. Nothing can go over this head.
Yes, Guy, this was British royalty, but the dialogue was not good. It was bleak, dull and repetitive. As Guy also said, it takes place, for the majority of the time, in an abandoned warehouse, with five blokes chatting about a guy fucking a guy's wife. They barely expand out of that subject. The odd time, their gay friend Meredith will throw in a small monologue about his life and something interesting that happened, or just a stupid pair of shoes he found, but the relevance of this escapes me, even in hindsight. They say it's 20/20, so either these monologues were not written properly or it was all just bullshit.
The one good thing about this movie? The kidnaped lover boy, Melvil Poupaud. He might be a walking cliche for women, but I'll watch him tied to a chair any day... With those puppy dog eyes and buff arms... Yum.
Girl's rating: Skip to the end when you get to see lover boy. Watch for 5 minutes and you'll remember that face forever. The rest is just rubbish.
Oh, and what's with the title? Does it have to do with the cupboard? Is that Winston's chest size now? Is it completely irrelevant like the rest of the film? If you know, let us know. Thanks.
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