A Note...

... to our loyal readers.

Guy is in Sweden, currently, and Girl is in Canada. No, we did not split up, as one of you has commented, but we do come from different sides of the world and this tends to happen when you are stupid enough to get involved in a long distance relationship.

So! To those of you who are expecting this website to be kept up to date on a regular basis (even after the fact that this has never happened so far), you will be disappointed.

But! We will try to watch the same movies, and we will try to write reviews about them at some point, then try to post those reviews on a semi-timely basis... maybe.

Some of you may call this a stilted promise, but we just call it reality. Unlike Lindsay Lohan, we have our feet planted firmly in it.

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Friday, January 15, 2010

44 INCH CHEST




Guy's review...

Colin Diamond (Winston) finds out that his wife is having a affair with a younger man. He beats her up to get his name and then he gets his gangster buddies to kidnap the poor guy. His gangster buddies are played by the elite of British cinema. We have John Hurt, Tom Wilkingson, Ian McShane and Stephen Dillane, which all sounds good on paper but hang on. When they promoted this movie they used the fact that the writers of "Sexy Beast" (Louis Mellis & David Scinto) wrote the script. I love "Sexy Beast" so I was onboard (I actually like "Blueberry" as well, which Mellis wrote).

So the guy that boned Diamonds wife is now kidnapped and stuck in a cabinet in an abandoned warehouse. The rest of the movie is then about the dilemma between killing the "loverboy" as the gangster refer to him or letting him go. Most of the movie takes place in this abandoned warehouse, while the rest are flashbacks to the past of the gangsters and the evening where Diamond beat up his wife. This is where it gets fuzzy. Some of the times the gangsters are illusions or dreams and sometimes they're actually in the room. It's not that hard to follow but there is also no reason for it.

So what's great about the movie. I would say the dialogue, nobody has mastered the word "cunt" better than Mellis & Scinto. There's nothing to complain about when it comes to the acting as well - as I said before the cast is pretty much British acting royalty. Ray Winston is also one of my favorite actors of today so that helped.

Guy's Rating: Not a gangster movie at all. More of a head-scratcher worth watching.

Girl's thoughts...

Reading Guy's review, I found out this was written by the same guy as "Sexy Beast"... so, where is the humour? Where is the wit? It either went over my head or it just wasn't there. As a fan of british comedy, I'm going to be optimistic about myself and say it just wasn't there. Nothing can go over this head.

Yes, Guy, this was British royalty, but the dialogue was not good. It was bleak, dull and repetitive. As Guy also said, it takes place, for the majority of the time, in an abandoned warehouse, with five blokes chatting about a guy fucking a guy's wife. They barely expand out of that subject. The odd time, their gay friend Meredith will throw in a small monologue about his life and something interesting that happened, or just a stupid pair of shoes he found, but the relevance of this escapes me, even in hindsight. They say it's 20/20, so either these monologues were not written properly or it was all just bullshit.

The one good thing about this movie? The kidnaped lover boy, Melvil Poupaud. He might be a walking cliche for women, but I'll watch him tied to a chair any day... With those puppy dog eyes and buff arms... Yum.

Girl's rating: Skip to the end when you get to see lover boy. Watch for 5 minutes and you'll remember that face forever. The rest is just rubbish.

Oh, and what's with the title? Does it have to do with the cupboard? Is that Winston's chest size now? Is it completely irrelevant like the rest of the film? If you know, let us know. Thanks.

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