LOTR: The Return of the King

Girl’s third thought...

First off, I just read Guy’s review of the Two Towers and found out that Kristoffer, his friend, cried during the Gandalf scene at the end... Don’t worry, I’m sure a lot of people did............

Secondly, this movie was the best book and second best movie of the three. It has the wicked, huge battle I was missing from Helms Deep, some great drama with Denethor and Faramir, as well as some very memorable scenes with Gandalf and that staff of his. However, it kinda overdosed on the cheese and tacky one liners, which bumped it down to second place after the Fellowship. “I’m not a man!” Stab. That was pretty lame. I didn’t like her character all that much to begin with, but that made me hate her. The bit with the ghosts was a tad stupid, as well. I mean, it would be hard to fight ghosts, but Sauron is the king of all evil, supposedly. Shouldn’t that include some kind of ghost shield? Maybe not. Plus Aragon looked stupid jumping from the ship and charging with a scream out of his throat and then all this green smoke following after. I bet someone could of thought how to do that better.

Girl’s Rating: A nice finish, with room for improvement.

Guy’s Review...

I agree that with Kevin Smith when he says that there is only one trilogy and that’s the one of “Star Wars”. I have to say that the LOTR trilogy comes in on the top three best trilogies ever made (there will be poll on this in the near future).

This third installment is by far my favorite. I mean, it has huge battles, Gollum a plenty and the journey finally comes to a end (multiple ends). I saw them all in the theaters and definitely where most excited for this one. They where all a tad long but I still went and bought the extended editions when they arrived at the store. It’s been a while since I saw them and I have to say that the amount of work that was put into this project is astounding. These films will surely stand the test of time and I will definitely show these films to my children when they are old enough.

One question though. Why didn’t Aragorn just go to those great ghost straight away? They’re probably the most powerful force of Middleearth. Just watch that scene towards the end where they attack like a mighty ocean wave and just kill everything that moves. It almost feels like cheating actually.

This is a fitting end to this franchise. I say end, because it seems like they can’t get it together to film the fricking “Hobbit” anytime soon. Girl is a big fan of the books and if she’s right then that would have been a great, great movie.

Guy’s Rating: A great ending to a great trilogy.

LOTR: The Two Towers

Girl’s second thought...

The Two Towers was the book in the series that I did not enjoy reading. Something about it just annoyed the shit out of me as a ten year old. I remember it took me three months to read, possibly longer, and I was a quick reader... I just couldn’t keep at it. I’d fall asleep, throw the book away, get a new one, try again...

The movie was all right, though. My least favorite of the three, but whatever, that doesn’t mean much because I loved this film version of the LOTR trilogy. The Helms Deep battle wasn’t as epic or as thought out as it was in my head while I read the book. There was tonnes of plot lines and bits of information missing concerning Gandalf’s plight and the Rohirrim. That aside, however, this movie still earns my respect at continuing this series solidity into the third film.

Girl’s Rating: Solid, entertaining, but no Fellowship. Not without Sean Bean.

Guy’s Review...

And then came number two. Here it gets a little bit better. It might be because I love the tree people. I just enjoy the slow pace they walk through the forest with and the way they speak. I’m gonna take on their way of living and maybe I’ll be their age if I’m lucky. I gotta say... The special effects really holds up, because the forest and the wandering trees look as amazing as they did the day I saw this in theaters.

As for fan favorite Gollum. I love the dude, everything about him is awesome. We feel sorry for him, he scares us and the way he looks is a mix between pathetic and haunting. I learned fast after watching this for the first time that I had the ability to make a decent impression of this little creature. It’s almost like my Gizmo bit a little bit slimier. Anyways, he makes the whole movie for me.

Another thing came to mind while watching this. Remember when Gandalf shows up in the end and saves the day? Well, one of my friends, who shall remain nameless (Kristoffer) admitted that he welled up during that scene. I guess it was powerful to him in some way. When I think about that I realize that there isn’t one scene in this trilogy that gets me that way. I’m not trying to be tough or anything many scenes in other movies makes me want to cry. If Peter got me to cry at any time during these three films then these films would have had everything.

Guy’s Rating: Lots of Gollum and that’s all I need.

LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring

Girl’s thought...

If you loved the book, you’ll love this movie. It’s the second best book and the best movie out of the trilogy. You might be said that Tom Bombadil doesn’t make an appearance, and you might be disappointed that some of the Elven parts are skipped over and left out, but... All in all this movie is a great kick start to a wonderful fantasy series. It was more than amazing when I first saw it, it still entertains me when I watch it now, and I know my kids are going to love it (have to love it) when I show it to them later (when they actually exist).

Girl’s Rating: A cinematic adventure with a great cast, excellent visual stimuli and awesome costumes. Boromir... you dying gets me every time.

Guy’s Review...

So now the time came for us to watch this trilogy again. I got all of them in HD and was hoping for it to be a new experience. I put in the first part in the series and started our adventure again. I always thought that “Fellowship” stared off slow. I guess they needed this time to make us feel for these characters. Well, I have a hard time connecting to Woods in any movie he has been in. This makes it hard for me to like him as Frodo.

Lucky for him he’s backed up by great actors like Sir Ian McKellen, Viggo, John Noble, Sean Bean and many more. I wonder what process they actually went though picking Gandalf (it’s probably on one of the DVD’s). I know they approched Sean Connery for the role but I guess he has enough James Bond money to turn these types of roles down.

Who would have though that the director of “Dead Alive”, “Meet the Feebles” and “Bad Taste” would come up with such a detailed and entertaining vision of Middle Earth.

As for “Fellowship”, it starts of very slow but sets up for the rest of the movies in a very brilliant way. Not many battles here but they will make up for that later. A subject we’ll talk about later.

Guy’s Rating: A decent start and a pretty cool Balrog.

THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME

Guy’s Review...

I only saw this movie once before I saw it now. Usually I get to see these films thanks to the fact that I’m dating Girl. She has a special place in her heart for these types of films. That’s why it caught me by surprise that she didn’t remember this one.

I’ve seen a bunch of reincarnations of the character Quasimodo. I’ve seen him in black and white, in TV and in live action color. Non of them are as good as what Disney did with it. I think I said this about “Tarzan”as well. If not lets make it very clear that the peeps at Disney are masters of taking these classic characters and making them better than anyone else. You’ll probably fight me on this but beware I’m kinda big and have no problem pushing other movie geeks over.

Guy’s Rating: Classic! One of the movies with the better music too.

Girl’s Disney!

Yay! A sorta awesome film experience! I mean, it’s good, but not the best of the best for Disney. The gargoyles aren’t memorable sidekicks compared to the many top notch ones out there. The fact the Hunchback doesn’t get the girl, but just two friends who will become a coupe, get married, have kids, and gradually ignore Quasimodo until they don’t call anymore. Typical!

Girl’s Rating: A classic because of the story but not because it’s Disney gold.

TREASURE PLANET

Guy’s Review...

I don’t really know about this one. I guess Disney took a stab at something that wasn’t really up their alley. I mean pirates in space sounds fun and all of that but I think it has to be done in another fashion. Maybe as a bloodier live action movie or even a japanese anime full of fights and stuff (maybe “Firefly” or “Cowboy Bebop” would be classified as pirate series?).

“Treasure Planet” has all of the Disney basics a kid venturing into the big unknown to find his destiny. The bad guy that turns good in the end. The funny little character that can be sold with happy meals at McDonalds. What it doesn’t have is that heart that they other movies does. I should know by now, I’ve watched enough during these two days.

Guy’s Rating: Definitely not one of the better Disney movies.

Girl’s Disney!

Yay... Awesome movie? ... Okay, so, I cannot actually stand behind this movie. The dog character is just annoying and weird (sorry Niles from Frasier), and the kid has a rat tail! I mean, a rat tail?! Who in Disney thought that that hair style would be popular in the future? It’s never coming back, it should never have been, and it is not cool on any world.

The only upside was Morph, the cutest piece of goo I’ve ever seen!

Girl’s Rating: Not really a classic... Sorry, Disney. I’m still your biggest 24 year old fan!

LILO & STITCH

Guy’s Review...

When I heard that Girl had missed this Disney film I just had to show it to her. Not only so she now can say that she’s seen them all but also because it’s actually really funny. The relationship between Lilo and her sister in the beginning of the movie is one of the funniest scenes in Disney history.

Just the fact that Stitch was made as a weapon and looks that way is pretty awesome. When I think about it all the aliens are fun and has a great look to them. When they released this movie the used the phrase “back to basics”. What they meant by that was that they went back to using old fashion ways of drawing and coloring. Disney had a slew of computer animated movies before this so I guess they wanted to appeal to their old audience.

I don’t think that’s right though. There’s a bunch of computer animated spaceships and other stuff that clearly was not drawn with pen and paper. Well, who cares the movie is still a lot of fun.

Guy’s Rating: I think it’s a lot of fun.

Girl’s Disney!

Okay, this was my first time with this movie, so coming from a newbie and a Disney Advocate, I give this my stamp of approval!

Although I found the first half of the movie waaayy funnier than the second half. The sibling dialogue, the destructive creature, the bond between kid and thing (classic), all create a great new addition to the Disney family.

Girl’s Rating: Welcome, Classic!

TARZAN

Guy’s Review...

The first time I saw this movie was in Vegas when I was about 15 (no that’s not too old to see these movies in the theaters). I actually saw it with my grandmother who was in her 70’s and both me and her enjoyed it. You gotta give them some credit for that. Not everybody can make a movie that will entertain people between the ages of 6 and 80. Well, Disney can. “Tarzan” has a nice love story that old and young can feel for and funny gorillas and other animals that will make every kid laugh.

What I like about this movie is the Phil Collins soundtrack... Not really, even though it suits this film I can’t get over that it’s freaking Collins singing. In all honesty I’m probably just upset that I let that scumbag play on my heartstrings with his velvet voice.

Oh, this movie has the cutest Disney baby to date as well. Little Tarzan is just the cutest thing that you’ll see.

Guy’s Rating: Still as good as it was when I watched it in Sin City.

Girl’s Disney!

Yay! Awesome movie. This is definitely the best version of Tarzan in film to date. For the following reasons:

- You are touched by the story line in the first 15 minutes, due to the fact they kill a BABY GORILLA! And Tarzan’s PARENTS! Easy, Disney.

- The songs!

- The comedy!

- The ending! So happy :)

Girl’s Rating: Let’s see... Classic!