STATEN ISLAND

Guy’s review...

This is another one of those segmented movies. Let’s see if all the segments where solid... I’m sad to say that they weren’t. This movie is about three people all connected by one event. Ethan Hawkes plays a poo-pumper (don’t know the exact title of his job) who needs money to artifically impregnate his wife. He puts together a bunch of people and decides to rob a house. In robbing the house they accidentally shoot an old lady that lives there. The thing is that the lady is the mother of a famous mobster (Vincent D’Onofrio). The second story is that of the mobster who wants to find and punish the shooter. The third story, which was also my favorite, was about a deaf and mute butcher (Seymour Cassel) who plays the horses and sells meat by day and cuts up people for the mobster by night.

I don’t wanna give away too much of the story because I actually really enjoyed this film. The mobsters side of the movie might not be that compelling but the tale of the butcher really outweighs everything that was slow about this movie. I found myself feeling for Cassel’s character who reminded me a lot of the old man in Up. This could be because the soundtrack for his segment was similar to that movie.

This is a mobster movie but doesn’t have the same amount of violence that usually shows up in this genre. Hold on, when the violence shows up it’s really graphic and will play on all you gore-monkeys' strings.

Guy’s Rating: Nice little movie that flew under the radar. Well worth the watch or the bandwidth.

Girl's little review...

I missed the first segment of this movie, so I can't speak for the whole film; however, I did enjoy what I saw. To me, it wasn't a mobster movie, maybe due to the fact I didn't see the first segment. The last two segments were dealing with non-mobster members, Hawke and Cassel, and their stories were very compelling. The acting from all the people involved was exceptional. Ethan Hawke was amazing, in my opinion, and Cassel was just too cute as the old, conflicted deaf and mute guy. The mobster, D'Onofrio, was okay, but his character wasn't the most interesting of the three, so it figures his acting wasn't note-worthy.

It was a combination of the acting, the soundtrack and the tie-ins that made this movie so enjoyable. The writer didn't play with too many characters, as stories with inter-weaving plots sometimes tend to do, so no one got lost in the telling. And the ending was apt, with the final frame being a tight-shot on cute, wrinkled Cassel, a sad little smile on his sweet face.

Girl's Rating: Great film. Watch it.

HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE

Guy’s quick glance...

It’s been some time since this movie came out. The reason for watching it again was that me and Girl went through one of my boxes of DVD’s. We found a lot of great classics, but (Girl) settled for this.

I had totally forgotten how young the cast was when this journey started and remembered that I was not a big fan of this perticular movie. Maybe the reason was that it was so young. Now when the cast is older and the movies have turned super dark, I’m way bigger of a fan and find myself waiting for the next chapter.

Everybody should know the story of this first movie by now. Harry gets inducted to Hogwarts and starts his first year as a wizard student. The mystery of “the one who’s name we don’t speak” starts here as well.

Guy’s Rating: There might be a Harry Potter marathon for me in the future.

Girl's guilty secret pleasure that's not so secret...

I remember reading the first Harry Potter book and laughing at how childish it was. The books I read always had death, sex and torment. None of that was in the first Harry Potter book (or most of the other books, for that matter).Plus, I was a LOTR fan, so Harry Potter was the dark side for me. That doesn't mean I don't admire Rowling - I think she is awesome and deserves the high praise. It also doesn't mean that I didn't fall victim to the movies...

For years, I tried to keep it a secret. I would buy the DVDs and not tell anyone, watching them by myself and keeping them hidden. Something about the movies was way more appealing than the books. I'm not the biggest geek, but I can be a dork sometimes, and I guess this goes to show that.

Girl's Rating: I would love to have a Harry Potter marathon!

SUDDEN DEATH

Guy’s awe of young Van Damme...

I’ll keep this one short and sweet. People might argue that this is a complete rip-off of “Die Hard”. Well, it is but “Die Hard” doesn’t have Van Damme and “Sudden Death” doesn’t have Willis, so there, you have the difference. I was born in 1983 and all that was when I was growing up was cool sleak action movies, something that seems to have dissapeared completely. I think I addressed this in another review of a new Van Damme movie.

In this classic (yes, classic) Van Damme plays a retired firefighter from Canada who has gotten a job as a fire marshal (inspector) at the Stanley cup finals. The Vice President shows up, gets kidnapped by terrorists, Van Damme’s kids get caught in the crossfire (this makes it personal) and he has to disarm a bunch of bombs while doing his famous splitkick all over the place.

In watching this movie again I actually got some goosebumps. The reason for this is because I get very sentimental. I remember going to the videostore with my friend and checking the new releases shelf. “Sudden Death” was up there as the number one rental. It was out of stock. Me and my friends showed up everyday for three days until we got a copy. We were blown away. Then I got older and VHS died and all my Van Damme tapes became obcelite. Then came the DVD and now I own all of the classics on various collectors editions. Now I’m just lying in wake for the BluRay releases so I can see his spin and split kicks in HD.

Guy’s Rating: Support the cause! Keep the “Muscles From Brussels” alive!

Girl's uhm...

I am a Bruce Willis fan.

Girl's Rating: If you broke your Die Hard DVD and can't find any copies, I guess this will suffice.

EVERBODY'S FINE

Girl has been tricked...

I thought this movie was going to be a light comedy with some pretty great actors in it. I was very wrong. I think I was on the brink of tears throughout the entire movie.

De Niro was amazing as a conflicted older father, recently having experienced the death of his wife. He has become somewhat estranged from his children, as his wife was the bridge between all of them. To set things right, he invites them all over for a summer weekend. When they all cancel on him (that's when the tears started), he decides to travel across the country to visit them instead.

The whole story line is filled with heart-wrenching moments. From simple things, like De Niro alone in his empty house talking to his dead wife, to the more complicated lies his children weave around him to protect him from the harsh truths of their lives. Not all of them became successful like he had so hoped for them, and none of them trust him to be a good father, which is probably the worst part. The huge thing that's appealing about this movie is that he wasn't not a good father due to some commonly used device like alcoholism or adultery. He didn't beat his children or his wife. It's much more simple and relatable than those things. He just was too proud of his kids, too exacting on them reaching their goals. So, unlike the alcoholic, abusive, absent father you are used to in family dramas, we have here a very likable guy who just got in his own way too many times.

There is a scene in the movie where the untravelled De Niro gets attacked in an underground subway by someone he was trying to give money to. He is very shook up from the experience, and what do you do when you are scared? You call your best friend. So, De Niro calls home, where the answering machine still has his wife's voice recorded. He just stands in the telephone booth and listens to it.

Girls' Rating: I approve this movie.

Guy’s not feeling fine review...

De Niro has made some blunders over the last couple of years where he has shown less than talent. Some of the movies that come to mind are “Showtime” and “Hide and Seek”. I give him the benifit of the doubt that those movies were more for the paycheck than the actual art of movie making. I’ve not forgotten what a good actor he is and he reminded me of that in this movie.

Rob plays an old man whose wife has recently passed. Now he has put it upon himself to visit all of his kids to see if they’re fine and get them all to come to a christmas dinner. In traveling the country he finds that the kids are keeping secrets from him both small and really big. He finds that he might have been too daunting of a father and now he has to earn his childrens' trust again.

De Niro’s kids are played by Beckinsale, Rockwell and Barrymore, who all do a great job. The one to watch though is De Niro who once again shows us why he was so great in “Mean Streets”, ”Cape Fear” and “Raging Bull”. I have to admit that this movie played on all my heartstrings and almost had me to tears at many times. They just pulled out all the stops and Girl almost had a heart attack from the sadness.

Guy’s Rating: Watch this, but get ready. You might need to stock up on some tissues.

THE COLLECTOR

Guy’s review...

So this is a new attempt at a horror franchise by the people who gave us the “Saw” movies. What you have to look forward to then is some brutal and mindaltering gore and blood scenes. By mind-altering, I mean scenes that will scar your brain for a couple of days or maybe weeks depending how sensitive you are.

What’s the movie about? Arkin is a regular guy who’s trying to make some money to save his wife and daughter from angry loansharks. He works as a part-time carpenter at an old house in the countryside. He makes a bunch of cash and goes to deliver the money to the wife but he finds out that the money’s not enough. He decides to break into the house that he worked on and steal a sizeable diamond. When he’s about to unlock the safe in the house he finds that he’s not alone. A murderer has taken over the house and turned it into a big trap full of knifes, acid and beartraps. Instead of stealing from the family that lives here, he decides to make his best attempts to save them.

I liked the original “Saw” movie but, as many others think, the series has lost a lot of steam. This movie is sadly a poor copy of what was once a good horror franchise. It has the same setup and type of violence. You kinda care about the character, though, which is a good thing and this adds to the thrills that actually exists here. If I find myself flinching or averting my eyes that means that they did something right and this is something I did in some scenes.

Guy’s Rating: Only for you gore fiends out there and maybe not for people with a weak stomach.

Girl's review...

I thought the original Saw movie was stupid. I remember why, too. I saw it in the theatre and I remember watching everyone's reactions to the horror of it. I guess that took the edge of the movie out for me, as I just saw how stupidly it played on people's fears.

This movie I watched at home with only Guy there. As he wasn't doing anything distracting with his facial expressions, I actually concentrated on the movie, and I found myself being the stupid person. I thought this movie was awesome, with it's suspense and horror. The gore was grotesque only once, so that aspect shouldn't put someone off from watching this movie.

Having not been taken in by the Saw series, I guess I was fair game for this movie. I flinched and cringed and was interested for the entirety of The Collector. The main character, Arkin, was a great creation, in my opinion. He actually is a thief as well as a carpenter (Guy might have missed that part), so he had some pretty sweet skills about how to defend himself and how to create some traps of his own. The actor also looked a bit like Edward Norton. Hot.

Girl's Rating: Great, fun Friday night horror film.

NINE

Guy’s view on musicals and this movie...

I have to admit that I can’t understand the musical genre. The fact that people just burst into song about what they are doing and thinking kinda annoys me. Musicals that I’ve enjoyed in the past are “Moulin Rouge” and “Across the Universe”, the fact being that they were different and somewhat hip (yes, hip).

This time Rob Marshall takes a second stab at this genre. He previously released “Chicago”, which I’m not a big fan of at all. However, with this film, I found myself enjoying the singing and choreographed dances. The movie is about a guy (Daniel Day Lewis) trying to make another movie. He’s been on a low and made a couple of flops but everybody is looking forward to this project. The movie is pretty much about the women in his life, his muses. We get to see musical segments with his mother, wife, a whore, seamstress, mistress, a reporter and leading actress as they sing about his life.

The main reason that I liked this movie must have been because of the great Danel Day Lewis who can’t seem to do anything wrong. Sure he seems like a nutty actor but he pulls off some amazing performances. The women, Dench, Cruz, Cotillard, Loren, Kidman and Fergie, all do great performances, but the tip of the hat goes foremost to Cotillard who’s really coming into her own as a Hollywood actress.

Guy’s Rating: To you macho guys out there. It won’t kill you to watch this movie... I promise.

Girl's hope for something better...

Not a big fan of musicals, I still really wanted to like this movie. I had high expectations for something dramatic and fun and beautiful. Although it was fun and very beautiful, it wasn't very dramatic. I will never write a musical, nor will I ever be involved with the production of one, so I would have to assume that the story is hard to keep to when you have to worry about dance choreography and songs the whole time. I also have to assume that's why they kept the story of this so, so simple. A man can't write another movie because he has lost his way - too many women, you could say. Simple.

The problem for me lay in that, yes, there were too many women! All had to have their say, their dance, their contribution. We had seven women do their song and dance and play their part in Daniel Day Lewis' character's life. Somewhere in there, I got lost as to what the point was. I stopped caring about the main character. He was a cheat, a liar, and no genius. All these women loved him or affected him, but sometimes the why didn't seem believable. In the end, he wasn't anything special, but maybe that was the point and I just didn't like it.

Like Guy, the one character I liked was that played by Cotillard. She was Guido's wife, and she was magnificent. Maybe it's her cute accent or her gorgeous eyes, but she plays off the camera so well. Her sexy set at the end was way more appealing than Cruz's earlier song and dance. Cruz seemed like Cruz playing the cute part of an adulteress (not oscar nomination worthy, by the way), but Cotillard's performance was powerful. Again, maybe that was the point, and again, I just liked the powerful stuff, not the fluff.

I think, to watch this movie, you need to be into musicals. You need to watch it just for fun and something to tap your foot to, and not to get any award-winning dramatic performances from. All you'll get is what Coitllard will give you, and she is just one woman out of a cast of nine.

If this film is to win awards for something, it should be for art direction and costume design, because when it came to these two things, it was very glamorous.

Girl's Rating: Didn't live up to the hype, but still a beautifully constructed movie, with a touch of the dramatic and a huge serving of fun.

BODYGUARDS AND ASSASSINS

Guy’s Hiyaaa!!

Martial Art movies will never die in Hong Kong and China. They have huge fanbases and are a classic form of cinema. Right now the stars of these movies seem scarce, for people like Jet Li, Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan have left the country and moved on to bigger things (not better). I guy who hasn’t is Donnie Yen and he might be one of the best right now.

So this is a time where the British part of Hong Kong is in a transition from the old in to the new. The assassins are against the change while the bodyguards are for it. This has resulted in a vicious rivelry that claims many lives. It all culmunates when the bodyguards sign up to transfer the president through town.

To be honest I can’t say much about the storyline because a crazy dog was running around my apartment while I was watching the movie, making it really hard to follow. Let’s talk about the fight scenes instead then because for many this is the reason we watch these types of movies.

I have to say that they were awesome. Back in the day, people in these types of movies had a dust cloud bounce of their body to signify a hit. Now it seems like they are more generous with the blood. I like this new trend, but I’m not oppose to the old style either. In this movie it seems like they’ve found a good balance between the two.

Guy’s Rating: Some good ass-kicking here but I don’t know if it’s worth the whole two hours and eleven minutes. Maybe just fast forward to the fights.

Girl's short review...

I was watching said crazy dog, so I didn't follow the story line at all. I'm usually pretty quiet during movies, but I was asking a million questions during this one... Not a good sign.

The fight scenes were okay. There wasn't too much of the wire fighting, which I dislike when used overly much, so I wasn't rolling my eyes the whole time... That's a good sign! The one note-worthy fight scene was at the end of the movie, between an ex-assassin and his former "friend". Leading up to that, though, it's a fairly tedious movie.

Girl's rating: As I didn't really care about the characters, I didn't really care for this movie.