NO IMPACT MAN

Guy’s view...

So this is a documentary where a family decides to live without plastic, electricity, canned food and a bunch of other things regular people just can’t live without (at least I know I couldn’t live without them). But who knows maybe I would thrive in a post apocalyptic world where all we could eat where other people, roots and other knicknacks. I also have girl who’s great with a paintball rifle and various martial arts that can help me hunt for food.

So what about this documentary? Well, I find all these things where people challenge themselves to things they normally wouldn’t do. “Super Size Me” comes to mind. That documentary actually had an impact on the fast food industry for at least a month or so. I only hope that some people will rethink what they do with their waste and how they treat mother Gaia.

There’s not only the “non impact” element that is fun to watch with this movie. It’s also nice to see that the lack of things brings people closer. There’s a very cute “scene” in the movie where the whole family does laundry in the bathtub. Very cute, I have to admit.

Guy’s Rating: Important message and a nice little movie to watch.

Girl's review...

I have a desire to do what I can to minimize my impact on the environment. I unplug everything I'm not using. I turn off the lights in rooms I'm not in. I don't leave my car running when I'm sitting idle, waiting for a train or whatever. I don't leave taps running. However, I'm also a hypocrite. I forget to unplug things or turn light off. I own a smaller SUV, which isn't the worst of it's breed, but it's definitely not a bonus for the environment. I guess that's why I enjoyed this movie, because these people are hypocrites, too. They are normal people, not those die-hard extremist environmentalists who would knife me in the street to find out that I don't use wholly organic bio-degradable bags to pick up my dog's shit.

I'm not perfect, but at least I try, and that's what these people making the documentary are saying. We aren't perfect, but we should at least try. They do their part for the 'no impact plan' in stages. It starts with only buying local (grown/made within 250 miles of home) food and ends with no electricity. They use the stairs. They bike. They go outside with their kid, as they forwent TV. Even though this caused a lot of discomfort at times, and some family strife between husband and wife, what they set out to do seemed to improve their standard of living, as well as not impacting their environment.

That's what I liked best about this movie. With forgoing so much material possessions and wants, they created more memories as a family unit. They spent more time with their kid outside. They learned how to problem solve together. They created a good message. It was all very hooky at times, but always very positive.

Still! It would have helped a lot more if I had liked them better. I am positive that if they hadn't have had that cute little kid with them, this documentary would have seemed pompous. That kid created some pretty cute moments, like the bathtub moment and the gardening moment, which really helped the fact their her parents were a bit douchy at times.

Girl's Rating: Even with the angst-filled father and materialistic mother, this family unit did create a good message with this film. It's worth watching, if only to take away one or two ideas to generate less impact in your life.

VAN DIEMEN'S LAND

Guy’s view on cannibalism...

Do you remember “Ravenous”? I think a lot of people missed that movie or if they saw it, thought it was stupid. I didn’t miss it. I love when people have to resort to eating other people. It’s so far away from anything that I could do. That is probably why it fascinates me so much. The difference between this film and “Ravenous” is that this particular event is based on a true story.

The movie takes place in Australia in 1822 when it was still used as a prison by the Brits. I’m gonna take a minute to recommend another movie that takes place in the same time and location as this one before I go on. The movie is “The Proposition” written by Nick Cave. Please watch it, it’s fantastic.

So is this movie, by the way. The story is about eight prisoners that decide to escape from the prison camp. The only way they can run is through the jungle. After a couple of days they realize that escaping without food was a bad idea. The prisoners start off by eating their shoes and jackets, but after emptying that source of nutrition they start looking at each other as a source of food. The two strongest inmates team up and start taking out the weakest one by one. We get to see what hunger does to these people as they start to drop like flies, until there are only two left.

What do I think then? Australia always makes for good locations. That is very true when it comes to this film. Most of the scenes, actually all of the scenes, take place in the lush jungle. The actors, who I’ve never seen before, are awesome. They really pulled off the prisoner look amazingly, better then I’ve seen in a long time. This is also the debut feature by director Jonathan auf der Hiede. I always think it’s extra fun when someone new delivers on their first project like this, It just means that there is hope for good movies in the future.

Guy’s rating: Support this movie and this director, I promise you will not be disappointed.

Girl's review...

I remember Ravenous. It was an ex's of mine's favorite movie. I should have guessed then that he was a weirddooooo... but hindsight's 20/20 and that's just life. Now, however, if I heard that this movie was somebody's favorite movie, I'd know to walk away and not look back.

I don't flinch very often during movies. I'm usually the one who will laugh at you if you do. It's a movie! Why flinch? It's not like you are the one being brutally murdered, and, in reality, the guy who IS being brutally murdered was possibly paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to be brutally murdered. You should be clapping, not flinching. Still... I flinched in this movie.

The "main" character, although he doesn't talk much and is generally in the back ground, is a serial killer. He seems normal, and he doesn't turn cannibal until the very last shot, but when he beats a man's head in with an axe, I flinched. You only see the dying man's face twice, before it begins to cave in, but you can watch the intent on the murderer's face as he wields the butt of the axe like a club. He doesn't scream or grunt as he does it either, he just savagely kills the man. It's quite brutal.

This movie was based on the account of the serial killer. He wasn't believed when he told the people who found him, alone in the woods, that the men he had escaped with had eaten each other. It was believed that he had just killed them all, possibly eating them in turn. Both versions of this man's escape are pretty horrific, whichever you want to believe. This film, with this no name actors and epic scenery, was very believable, and therefore flinch-worthy.

Girl's Rating: Watch this, but don't make it your favorite movie.

GOOD HAIR

Guy’s view on hair...

This is definitely a documentary that is different from everything else that’s out there. Who knew that you could stretch this subject to a hundred minutes. Well, I say this cause I had no idea how much work went into women’s hair. They need to relax it, weave it and sculpt it.

So Chris Rock goes around America to different types of saloons and meets the people who are addicted to getting their hair relaxed. He talks to famous black women and men who’ll give you their point of view of the industry, We get to see how the hair trade works in India and we even get to hear how the black market of hair trade works. These parts are all interesting, but wait, there’s more.

My favorite part was the competition part. Yes, people compete in black hair. It’s a weird mix of dancing, acrobatics and crazy hair. What makes this interesting? The crazy people that compete for the BB belt and the 20.000 dollars that come with it. One lady cuts hair under water, another cuts hair upside down and another white guy (the only white person) cuts hair in a round bed filled with half naked women. Hillarious in a bizarre way.

Guy’s Rating: Funny and different, well worth the watch.

Girl's review...

I've never found Chris Rock particularly amusing until watching this documentary. I think I've always found him too obnoxious and loud to really listen to his comedy; however, this documentary opens with his concern about how to raise his two daughters into women who are confident past the confines of the hair on their heads. Since he was being serious for once, I decided to be, too.

I've always admired famous black women's hair. I have crazy hair, which isn't helped by the fact I dye it, straighten it, and generally wreck havoc on it almost every day. I've had purple hair, blue hair, green hair, blonde hair, black hair and my natural redish/brownish messy hair. I know what it feels like to value hair, which sounds idiotic and vain, but whatever. It's just a commonly known fact about most women. We like good hair! Now, though, I don't admire black women's hair... I admire Indian women's hair, as it seems that's where it all comes from. The next time I see an Indian women on the side of the road with long, nice hair... I'm cutting and running, as that stuff is worth thousands of dollars.

I was just as surprised as Guy to find that I was interested throughout the entire 100 minutes of this bizarre topic. Although this documentary still doesn't rank too high on the important subject meter, it still has it's point. Women, and some men, have steadily created, through manipulation and self-depreciation, a billion-dollar industry concerning hair. That seems crazy! Which is pointed out to good effect by the (now) respected Chris Rock.

Girl's Rating: Definitely put this on the to-be-watched list.

NEW YORK, I LOVE YOU

Guy’s almost review...

The second edition to “Paris je t’aime”. This time they collected a bunch of “younger” directors to contribute, one of those happen to be Natalie Portman, more on that later.

I’m not gonna go into every little short that made it into the movie even though I should. I guess I’m too lazy. I’ll just tell you about the ones that I liked. First one, the one starring Ethan Hawke, Maggie Q, Chris Cooper and Robin Wright Penn- pretty good cast? Probably the best cast, too, and they delivered. This short is about one couple (Cooper and Penn) trying to rekindle their love with some role-playing (outside of the bedroom) and another couple (Hawke and Q) that meet for the first time on the street. The man meeting the woman on the street is charming and has every line in the book. When he finally closes the deal he finds out that the woman is a prostitute, a great twist and very funny.

The other short that I liked was with Shia LeBeouf and John Hurt. LeBeouf plays a weird crippled character that throws himself out of a window... yeah, out of a window. Intrigued?

P.S Natalie Portman’s short sucked.

Guy’s Raing: I don’t know if it’s worth watching to be honest.

Girl's scattered thoughts...

I saw this movie a couple days ago now and I'm having a hard time recollecting every short. I'll judge each one individually, as I remember them:

The first one, I believe, was with Hayden Christensen and his co-star in Jumper, the girl from the OC. It was alright. Definitely a good starting point for a film if all the shorts are to improve from there... expect that wasn't the case here.

The next one, which I didn't even remember without the help of the ol' internet, was with Natalie Portman and some Indian guy. They are in love, but because of their cultural differences (Portman plays a jew), they can't get married. Too bad, so sad, but definitely didn't touch this stone heart. Thumbs down.

Numero tres: Orlando Bloom. Bah!

Four was good. This is the one that Guy liked above, with Ethan Hawke, Chris Cooper and some women I don't know. The twists are a bit gimmicky, but I did not care much while watching it. With the past three shorts more disappointing than the last, this was a breath of fresh air into the whole movie.

Number five was even better, though. A step in the right direction! This was starring the Russian guy in the new Star Trek, Blake Lively from Gossip Girl and directed by the guy who made Rush Hour. What a mix! This short was humorous, awkward, and had a compact plot easily fit into the short. The director and writer didn't over stretch their time or characters, and although they used a bit of narration, it wasn't annoying.

Bradley Cooper seems to be popping up everywhere right now, and he was actually fairly good in the sixth short. I almost enjoyed this one the most, as it was about two people who had met over a few too many drinks, had a good time, and ended up having sex with other. As they head towards a second encounter, we listen into their thoughts about the whole experience, their guilt, their doubts, their pleasures. It's very true to how one feels after a one night stand that went amazingly well, but you aren't quite sure about where it could go, of if it should go there, or what you are doing... Watch this short. It explains it better than I.

Short seven is the one Guy mentioned with Shia LaBeuof jumping out of a window. This one left me looking like a question mark. Not my cup of tea.

And then there was Natalie's directorial debut, which failed miserably at everything except making all the other shorts look great!

The last two shorts were good, too. Nine involves a painter whose inspiration is a shy asian girl who works at a tea shop. He finds her gorgeous, but ends up drinking himself to death when he can't have enough of her. Ten concerns an elderly couple on their anniversary, 63 years together or some crazy number like that. It's a cute way to cap off the shorts, and definitely made Guy and I share one of those "touching" moments.

Still, even with the moments of greatness in these shorts, there were too many other moments... Like shitty moments that makes you want to turn the movie off and watch something else.

Girl's Rating: Ditch Portman and you have a great movie!

PANDORUM

Guy’s love for Sci-fi...

Usually, at least nowadays, when sci-fi movies show up they seem to have a PG-13 rating. I like the sci-fi’s that have a little bit of blood and gore in them. Movies like “Alien” and “Event Horizon”, not that I didn’t enjoy Avatar, I loved it. I mean I want that old school feel. Now “Pandorum” might not be the greatest movie that has come out in this genre, but at least it tries.

So in the future when we have ruined everything on earth (as usual) we send out some humans in space to find us a new place to live. The fucked up thing is that there’s a mental disease that you can catch by being in space too long called “Pandorum”. This disease makes you super crazy and you’ll start wanting to kill your crew-mates. Well, Bower and Payton (Foster and Quaid) wake up on this ship to start their shifts only to find that the spaceship is full of crazy zombielike aliens.

Wait a minute. Here’s the twist and the spoiler. The ship had already reached its location, a planet that the remaining humans need to terraform, but is now stuck on the bottom of an ocean. We won’t find this out until the end of the movie, and it’s a pretty great twist.

The thing is that so much time has passed on the ship that humans have evolved into these crazy aliens. So we get to go on a alien killing spree with the remaining humans on this ship. So what about the space disease? Well, Payton (Quaid) catches it and tries to blow the ship to smithereens. This gives the movie even more adrenalin.

Guy’s Rating: A real dude/nerd flick that could turn into one of those guilty pleasure things.

Girl's rebuttal...

This movie is not a dude/nerd flick, as I am neither and I liked it. Although at times it was a bit confusing, and some of the story lines seemed redundant, it was still a good movie. I also enjoyed Event Horizon and the Alien series, as my love for Sci-Fi almost comes to par with Guy's, so movies like this one will always seem enjoyable.

There were two things I didn't enjoy. One was Dennis Quaid. I don't like him. His face always looks like he is eating something sour... The second thing is the poster. It makes no sense! What is that coming out of the person's mouth and eyes? Definitely nothing I saw in the movie.

Girl's Rating: I second what Guy said about the guilty pleasure thing.

THE LIMITS OF CONTROL

Guy’s hmmm?...

When Girl and I watched this, we laughed and sat silent in confusion as characters entered upon the screen either in slow motion or just naked. I think that’s the beauty of a filmmaker like Jim Jarmusch: He has reached a point in his career where he can do exactly what he wants. He has that built in audience who will watch whatever he does. I am one of those people.

If you watch this thinking that you’ll get a “Down by Law” or “Ghost Dog: The Last Samurai” experience then you’ll be really disappointed. I almost wish that I came in to this movie without any expectations so I could experience his filmmaking for the first time (Girl will probably have more on that).

This movie is pretty much about a guy/assassin called the “Lone Man” who by some weird encounters with people, all of whom ask him if he speaks Spanish, leads him to his attended target. Yes, he will get his man, who is played by Bill Murray.

There’s really no story here, just a collage of weird yet interesting characters and beautiful locations. It feels like he only made this movie as an excuse to travel the world. Sadly, I didn’t watch this in HD which would have made the viewing a lot better.

Guy’s Rating: I don’t know how to explain it but there was something here that made me love it.

Girl's love of the obscure...

There was no point to this movie, no concrete story, no in-depth characters, but it was great! This film had a sense of self that was humorous and unconventional, making the watching of it thoroughly enjoyable. Guy's right when he implies that I have no idea who this director is or what kind of movies he makes, but I like him because he is mad. Between the woman who doesn't seem to own a stitch of clothing, to Tilda Swinton spinning around in a trench coat and an umbrella, to Bill Murray randomly showing up in the end as the mysterious "bad" guy... I can't even guarantee that he was the bad guy as they barely touch the surface of what he even did! It's only implied that he is bad. Plus, he is Bill Murray. He is the best bad guy around! So sarcastic, so amusing.

Girl's Rating: Something about this movie was funny. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but I laughed, and that's all that really matters.

FIVE MINUTES OF HEAVEN

Guy’s half a minute of reading...

I can’t help but to feel a little bit sad while watching this movie. The reason for that is the Liam Neeson’s wife past while this movie was in post. Now after the passing he still manages to deliver some very good performances. This one should be added to one of his better.

Neeson plays a man who in his teens was part of the troubles in Ireland. During that time he took the life of another young man. Nesbitt plays that man’s younger brother. Presently, they get to meet. Nesbitt want nothing more than to see Neeson’s character dead so he can have his “five minutes of heaven”. But during the movie we find out that the one who needs closure the most is the man who committed the crime.

This movie takes place on very few locations and is more about the dialogue and the tension between the two characters. Both actors deliver award worthy performances and will have you hooked in for the 90 minutes that this movie takes.

You will have mixed feelings about the two and I’m pretty sure that the audience will have a difference of opinion when they leave the movie. That’s what’s good about this film - it forces you to take a stance.

Guy’s rating: Well worth the watch and the struggle.

Girl's meh...

The picture on display to the left? Yeah, I don't even remember that part of the movie. That's how forgettable it was. So, unlike guy, I didn't enjoy this film. Nor did I have mixed feelings about the two characters... I didn't have any feelings at all.

There was an absence of suspense to this film. As the audience, you know from the beginning that the two characters are going to meet, one way or another. Unfortunately, for someone like me, I got bored too quickly with the drawn out scenes and unreasonable dialogue that I didn't even get to see the whole third Act. Maybe if I had stuck around and not gone to petter around the kitchen for half an hour, I would be able to say there was something here worth watching, but...

Girl's Rating: Nothing here worth watching.